Chanukah and the recent UN resolution

Am I the only one fascinated by the alignment of the last day of Chanukah and beginning of the new secular year?

Do you know that 2017 has nine calendar days for Chanukah? Today, January first, and then again for eight days in December. So 2017 is unquestionably the "Year of Chanukah!"

Of course, Chanukah never really ends. Rather, the awesome message of this year's Chanukah has been gained and added to our treasure trove of experiences. It continues to enrich us and empower us, even long after the eight-day festival is over.

Sadly, this year's Chanukah was marred by a rather unsettling event (pun intended), a typically-vicious anti-Israel resolution at the UN, and an unprecedented US abstention.

Ironic, because Chankuah is all about the triumph of light over darkness. But this year, darkness seems to have prevailed over light, and ignorance over reason.

In a stunning move, the fanatically biased United Nations condemned Israel for allowing Jews to live in their ancient capital, Jerusalem, or even from praying at the Western Wall, and the US abstained.

Even worse, it appears as though our president colluded with the UN in drafting and promoting this resolution!

Even more shocking is the date in which it transpired, the day before Chanukah, the day that the Maccabbees reasserted Jewish sovereignty over Jerusalem and the Temple Mount and drove out the Hellenist invaders.

So along comes the UN and negates thousands of years of uncontested Jewish sovereignty in one fell swoop, and the United States tacitly approves.

I think it’s fair to assume that most Americans consider this a cataclysmic failure in US foreign policy, while some erroneously think that this might somehow pressure Israel to make more concessions that might somehow jumpstart peace talks again.

But everyone realizes how absurd it is to disassociate Jerusalem from the Jewish People.

Jews lived in Jerusalem longer than the English lived in London or the Spanish lived in Spain, or the Romans lived in Rome. In fact, Jews lived in Jerusalem long before the English or Spanish even existed, and even well before the Romans even existed.

A Jew is a walking relic from the past, and Jerusalem is his ancestral home for most of recorded history.

The Jew has been persevering  to maintain his Holy City for millennia. Every foe who succeeded in conquering Jerusalem from the Jews ultimately faded away and disappeared behind the cobwebs of history.

The Seleucid Empire is a perfect example.

In fact, they were the villains of the Chanukah story, the very reason we have been celebrating for the past eight days.

Many people are mystified or outraged by the UN’s and President Obama’s timing in issuing this preposterous resolution.

Was that an idea of a cruel joke? People wonder. A Chanukah gift to the Jewish People, many of whom voted for him in two elections and voted for the candidate he had recently endorsed?

How many American Jews are now shaking their head in regret and dismay? I personally know many who are, and I’m sure you do too.

Other Jews, who distrusted Obama from day one, are angrily beating their chests! How dare he perpetrate such a dastardly deed, just days before Chanukah, the holiday in which we celebrate the Jewish liberation of Jerusalem! The time we celebrate that Jerusalem is once more in Jewish hands!

Was he trying to be like the proverbial Grinch who stole Chanukah?

I humbly disagree.

My dear friends, what I am about to say might sound like hyperbole or fantasy. But it is not.

Please don’t get all riled up. Just hear me out.

The UN and Obama just gave us all a lesson about Chanukah. Actually, this lesson was taught in the Talmud Bavli some 1,500 years ago.

Let’s read it together:

The Talmud (Shabbat 22b) asks:

“מאי חנוכה? What is 'Hanukah? The rabbis taught: On the twenty-fifth day of Kislev 'Hanukah commences and lasts eight days, on which lamenting and fasting are prohibited. When the Hellenists entered the sanctuary, they defiled all the oil that was found there. When the government of the House of Hasmoneans prevailed and defeated them, oil was sought to kindle the Menorah in the Temple and only one vial was found with the seal of the high priest intact. The vial contained sufficient oil for one day only, but a miracle occurred, and they lit the Menorah with it for eight consecutive days. These eight days were the following year established as days of joy, for Hallel praise and thanksgiving.”

Fascinatingly, there is no mention of the miracle of the war, of the miraculous liberation of the city. The Talmud simply states that Chanukah is so called because of the miraculous way the Temple was rededicated, with the lights that lasted for eight days.

Herein lies the crux of the Chanukah. It’s not about “us” and “them.” It’s not like “They oppressed us, they occupied our land, they restricted our freedoms. We fought back. We won. Let’s eat!”

It’s that the site of the Holy Temple, atop the Temple Mount, was rededicated as a House for G-d in a miraculous way that clearly demonstrated that it was what G-d wanted.

The war, few prevailing over many, liberation of our city and our land, renewed Jewish independence and sovereignty, etc… that is all secondary. That’s why it was called “Chanukah,” dedicating the Temple, and not “Independence Day” or “Jerusalem Day” or something like that. Even the apocryphal reference to חג האורים, the festival of lights, recalls the miracles of the lights, not the miracle of the war, as the major theme of the holiday.

So now let’s consider the main points of the recent UN resolution:

1. The UN is declaring all and any Jewish presence in Jerusalem and Judea Samaria as settlements, and therefore, as illegal.
2. The UN declares that all this settlement activity is an obstacle to peace.
3. The UN demands that Israel immediately and completely cease all settlement activities
4. The current status quo is not sustainable or acceptable. The current “one-state” reality is not viable.

Obviously we understand the malicious intent of the hypocritical Jew-haters at the so-called United Nations. They would like Israel to cease to exist, G-d forbid. Of course, a so-called “Palestinian State” means a Judenrein fascist police state, like Gaza currently is, that is sworn to the mass-murder of Jews everywhere. “Two-state solution” is one step toward a “Final Solution,” heaven forfend, לא תקום פעמיים צרה. So it must be opposed in the strongest of terms, with or without a US veto.

But as our sages observed, לב שרים ומלכים ביד ה' (“The hearts of officers and kings are in the hand of G-d” – based on a verse in Misheli 21:1)

If you consider these statements objectively, the message is undeniably true and aligns with the essence of Chanukah.

The UN declares that all Jewish presence in the Holy Land is but a mere settlement! That’s right, if you were ousted from your home but you’re camping out in your backyard, you’re just pitching a tent. You’re not living in your true home, as a true resident does. Why aren’t you clamoring to re-enter your home? Why are you “settling” for a tent in the backyard? Hmm, sounds suspicious, the United Nation reasons. You must be occupiers.

That’s correct. Chanukah reminds us that it’s not about “our land,” or “our” independence. It’s about dedicating a house to G-d. And G-d only has one Home, in one place. The same place it’s been ever since 870 BCE.

It’s about rededicating that Holy House by kindling His Holy Menorah with pure oil, as prescribed in His book, the Torah.

It’s not about us. It never was about us.

That’s why if you read the “V’al hanissim” prayer chanted in the Amida and in Birkat (grace) each day of multiple times each day of Chanukah, you will not find the pronoun “us” or “we” used even once, except in the very beginning where it refers to the miracles that You, G-d, performed for our fathers. And then the entire prayer invokes G-d as “You” in second person.

“(Thank you) for the miracles, for the redemption, for the mighty deeds, for the saving acts, and for the wonders which You have wrought for our ancestors in those days, at this time—

“In the days of Matityahu, the son of Yochanan the High Priest, the Hasmonean and his sons, when the wicked Hellenic government rose up against Your people Israel to make them forget Your Torah and violate the decrees of Your will. But You, in Your abounding mercies, You stood by them in the time of their distress. You waged their battles, You defended their rights, You avenged the wrong done to them. You delivered the mighty into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of the few, the impure into the hands of the pure, the wicked into the hands of the righteous, and the wanton sinners into the hands of those who occupy themselves with Your Torah. You made a great and holy name for Yourself in Your world, and You effected a great deliverance and redemption for Your people Israel to this very day. Then Your children entered the shrine of Your House, cleansed Your Temple, purified Your Sanctuary, kindled lights in Your holy courtyards, and instituted these eight days of Chanukah to give thanks and praise to Your great Name."

Holy smokes! I counted a whopping total of twenty-three “You’s,” and not one single “We” or “Us.”

Here’s the other important prayer we chant each night of Chanukah after kindling the menorah. It’s called “Haneirot Halalu”:

“We kindle these lights [to commemorate] the saving acts, miracles and wonders which You have performed for our forefathers, in those days at this time, through Your holy priests. Throughout the eight days of Chanukah, these lights are sacred, and we are not permitted to make use of them, but only to look at them, in order to offer thanks and praise to Your great Name for Your miracles, for Your wonders and for Your salvations.”

Yes, we are kindling lights, but they are not for us or our use. They are only for us to gaze at, in order to offer thanks to You, for Your miracles and Your wonders, etc.

What does that teach us? That Chanukah is not about us. It’s about G-d, but not about “Him.” Rather, it’s about feeling G-d’s presence, and consequently about talking with G-d as “You.”

So how can I truly celebrate renewed Jewish life in our ancestral land while You G-d are still homeless, as it were? And if You are homeless, then so are we. Your Home lies in ruins, while Your children, the ones You so dearly wish to kindle Your holy lamp in Your house, can’t even ascend upon Your Holy mount, to gaze upon the desolate site of Your home?

How dare Jewish leaders brazenly lie and claim that the Western Wall is the holiest site in Judaism! What utter falsehood!

Where do you feel most at home in your property? In your back ally? Front yard? Outside the walls of your home? Of course not. It’s inside the walls where you truly feel at home. Your own sanctuary, your home base.

The Western Wall is just an outer Wall, and a mere fragment thereof. And that’s why it’s called the Wailing Wall. It’s not the holiest site in Judaism. It’s the saddest site in Judaism that we are able to visit, and wail. If you are happy with that status quo, if you settle with being outside in the back ally while your home is hijacked or in ruins, and you are barred from entering altogether, then you are just a settler, by your own self-definition. You don’t really belong there.

So the UN declares, the current status quo is unacceptable! Stop settling!

It’s time to fish or cut bait.

If it is indeed your home, then go build your home. And if it isn’t your home, then stop camping out in the backyard!

But Jews are kind-hearted and benevolent people. How can we displace the Arabs who are currently there? What about their shrine or shrines? Shall we not honor the fact that they’ve been there for the past numerous centuries?

So here’s where Chanukah comes in. It’s not about us. It’s about dedicating a home for G-d.

Perhaps I ought to stop thinking about myself, and what kind of person I wish to be viewed as. G-d wants a home, so let me go dedicate it. And if I cannot dedicate it at present, then I ought to start clamoring and demanding for G-d’s home to be rebuilt and rededicated. I’ll start showing that I’m no settler, but a son or daughter of the true Owner of the property whose home tragically burned down twice but will soon be rebuilt and re-inhabited, by His own children, the way HE wants it. Just like HE demonstrated with the miracle of the eight days of Chanukah over 2,100 years ago!

Thank you to the United Nations and to Barack Obama for reminding us of what we all know in our heart of hearts to be true, but can’t articulate it.

Let’s stop "settling" for less, when we can achieve the Dream of Dreams, an eternal home for the Divine on this earth! We must cease and desist from living this “settler” existence in Exile at once!

The Golus-settlement status quo is unacceptable and not viable. It’s illegal for a Jew to be in Exile, or for G-d to be in exile. It’s a violation of G-d’s law.

Let’s go build Your house, G-d. The Third Holy Temple. And let’s dedicate it to You with pure oil, just like Your holy priests, the Maccabbees, did in times of old.

And then, there will be true and lasting peace, a peace that all nations of the world, including Arabs, will come to cherish and appreciate.

But so long as we’re mere settlers, our “settling” is an obstacle to peace, to the ultimate peace.

The current “state” of Israeli “statehood” is not a lasting solution, because it does not recognize the need for G-d to have His home. If you’re homeless, how does it help to have a state? And if you’re willingly homeless, do you even deserve a state?  Have a state without having a home is also a settlement of sorts.

The very notion that a Jewish “state” is a consolation to Jews for the millions of lives lost in the Holocaust in an anathema and morally objectionable.  It might be true that the current state is necessary in order to prevent future Holocausts, heaven forfend, from the surrounding hostile enemies. But in no way does it somehow justify or reconcile the atrocities of the past, nor even the suffering and injustices of the present.

The only consolation to the nearly two millennia of Holocausts, Crusades, Pogroms, massacres, expulsions and inquisitions, etc., is the true and complete Redemption through Moshiach, the climax of which will be the re-dedication of G-d’s home on the Temple Mount, and the return of all G-d’s children from the far-flung corners of the earth, followed by the resurrection of the dead.

Amen. May it be speedily in our days.

But until that time, let’s mobilize now to bring it about, and not just wait passively. And remember: it's not about me. It's about something infinitely greater and more awesome than me. It's about You.



PS:  the "You" theme of Chanukah is also eloquently expressed by King David in Psalm 115 (that we currently recite for the Rebbe's years, and that was also recited each day of Chanukah in Halel): "לא לנו ה' לא לנו -- Not for us, O G-d, not for us... but for Your name give honor, for Your kindness and for Your truthfulness. Why should the nations say, 'Where is your G-d?'..." Indeed, it's not about us, but about You. And therefore, "ישראל בטח בה' עזרם ומגינם הוא -- O Israel, trust in G-d. He is their help and shield..."

Time to Rethink our Presidential Election

I propose we make a much-needed constitutional amendment!

Nope, I’m not referring to electoral college.

I propose we move the elections to a nice warm time of year, like midsummer.

That way, if you’re upset with election results, you can just chill and go to the beach, or go hiking, camping, or some other fun, outdoor activity. You can even go to Disney. Mickey Mouse can help take your mind off your post-election misery. (But maybe you should avoid Donald Duck for obvious reasons).

This time of year is a tough time for people who are struggling to cope with the reality of the loss of their candidate and an incoming president whom they revile.

On a very serious note, I became concerned for the welfare of a dear friend and member of our community yesterday. He sounded depressed and not well, and I feared that he harbored thoughts of harming himself. It was late at night, so I called the police department to discuss.

A police officer was at my door within two minutes. I described my concern. He told me that they are receiving numerous calls like this since the election, but also because of the recent time change (significantly earlier sundown) and weather change. He said that those two factors are significant triggers that can push someone over the edge. They sent police over to our friend’s house within minutes, and made sure he was safe and that all was well. My friend later called me to thank me, and that he appreciated the warm and friendly policemen’s visit.

Parenthetically, I am grateful for our devoted police department. It was the first time that I saw a law-enforcement officer helping others in that context, not just enforcing a law or reporting a crime, or just ensuring highway safety. These officers showed me a new side of law enforcement, one that shows genuine concern and care for an individual’s welfare and state of mind, to make a wellness checkup and a friendly visit, giving the fellow a warm smile, hope and encouragement. The police are awesome!!

So back to my original point, were the elections to be held in a happier and warmer time of year, perhaps all would benefit. Imagine the benefit of a late-summer election. That way, if we are despondent about the election results, we can go to shul and pray our hearts out, because Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur would be right around the corner!

On second thought, maybe it could be spring or early summer. That way, we wouldn’t have to waste our precious summers on these unpleasant and stressful campaigns that no one enjoys.

Just a thought.

Tired of Post-Election Rhetoric

Friends, this is getting ridiculous. Please stop denouncing other voters. 

Everyone has the right to their own opinions. This is a democracy.

Please don’t deplore half the country. It didn’t work for Hillary’s campaign and it won’t work for you.

(To be accurate, it was a quarter of the country. Nearly half don’t vote at all, but that means that they’re okay with a Trump presidency, because if they weren’t they’d have voted, one would hope. So please don’t deplore three quarters of the country and a vast majority of states).

We may protest stated policies of the winning candidate. We may mobilize to remind our representatives in Congress that we expect healthy checks and balances to keep the incoming president in line.

Please stop saying that this is the end of our country as we know it, or that we just elected Hitler. Because it simply isn’t true. I understand your frustration and the benefit of hyperbolic ranting, but please be mindful of your rhetoric.

Yes, it’s true that DT had some shady supporters (like white “supremacist” groups), but HC had her share of shady supporters too (like rogue Islamic terrorist-sponsoring states). DT didn’t do enough to distance himself from his unsavory donors, but neither did HC. It’s just that you didn’t hear too much about the shady donations to her campaign, because the media is much more sensitive to right-wing extremists than they are to Islamic extremists. Both candidates were compromised, perhaps one more so than the other, but even that is debatable and impossible to know for sure.

Many voted for DT simply because they feared a nuclear Iran far more than they do David Duke. That does not mean they are willing to tolerate persecution of minorities.

Remember that politicians are opportunists and often make bold statements to rally support and get elected.

There is nothing that DT said that is even remotely fascist, although the media did a good job as showcasing his statements as though he were.

He may not have been my choice or your choice, but he was our country’s choice, so he most likely will become our new president. Accept that fact, because it’s reality.

You may call for a constitutional amendment for popular vote, but it will not change the present reality.

Also, here’s an important thing to bear in mind:

The presidential election is a bit like a sports game. If the team you root for won or lost, YOU haven't really won or lost anything. YOU are NOT the Red Sox or Patriots. They don't even represent you. They are merely making a living like everyone else. It’s just that YOU voluntarily decided to identify as a fan of theirs. That is your choice that you can change at will. You can choose to identify however you prefer, but that doesn't really change reality. Likewise, you are NOT a dem, rep, rino, dino, or otherwise. You didn't win nor lose the presidential election. The country as a whole elected a new president.

Neither you nor your team really won anything. The winning candidate is now going to govern the country, thanks in part to your vote (if you live in a state where your candidate won, or in Maine or Nebraska). But he is just a politician who said whatever he had to say to win your vote. Whether he is going to deliver is an entirely different question. So instead of celebrating, you ought to be planning your next steps, like how are you going to hold the candidate to his campaign promises? Likewise, if he is out of line or his policies are wrong, then how are you going to speak out in protest? He’s not your team that you need to be loyal to. It’s your country that you ought to be loyal to.

Same is true for those who voted for the losing candidate. YOU haven’t lost anything. You may be concerned for the welfare of the country, and perhaps rightfully so. You ought to be planning your next steps, like how will you as a citizen impress upon your representatives in government to maintain healthy checks and balances to help keep the new president in check.

So please stop deploring fellow American voters. And please stop categorizing them by race or education in a demeaning or disparaging way. That's prejudice. Lots and lots of women and people from other racial backgrounds voted for him, and lots and lots of white males vote for her. Some of the most brilliant and educated people I have ever met voted for him, while some of the least educated and uninformed people I have ever met voted for her. And vice versa. This is silliness.

Let’s move on. Just my two cents. Peace.

Torah Thoughts for Post-Election 2016

Dear Facebook Friends who are celebrating the results of yesterday’s election:

Here are two relevant teachings of our Sages from Pirkei Avot (4:18), written some 1,800 plus years ago. Please read & share with your friends:

“Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar would say: Do not appease your friend at the height of his anger; do not comfort him while his dead still lies before him; do not ask him about his vow the moment he makes it; and do not endeavor to see him at the time of his degradation.

“Shmuel the Small would say: "When your enemy falls, do not rejoice; when he stumbles, let your heart not be gladdened. Lest G‑d see, and it will be displeasing in His eyes, and He will turn His wrath from him [to you]" (Proverbs 24:17-18).”

Here is a link if you’d like to study it in depth: http://www.chabadhebrewschool.us/…/…/jewish/Chapter-Four.htm

This election has been unnerving enough. There is no need to taunt or denounce anyone, regardless of whom he or she voted for. It is not helpful.

Here are the obvious directives from the above-mentioned teachings:

1. Your fellow American who voted for Hillary is probably very angry right now. Respect that.
2. Don’t try to appease or comfort him. Let him grieve. If he wishes to rant, let him and be quiet.
3. If she vowed to move to Canada, don’t remind her or ask her about it. Understand that it was hyperbolic.
4. Do not rejoice over her grief or loss. Just be happy over the election of the candidate you think will be best (or least bad) for the country. No need to revel or gloat on social media in a way that is disparaging to others. Be humble (like Shimon the "Small"). If it helps, try to remember back to 2008 or whenever when your candidate lost, and have some empathy.
5. Do not say anything to make another person feel bad. Don’t rub it in. This goes for sports too. If you’re a Red Sox fan, for example, don’t taunt or insult a Yankee fan in a way that will really make him feel bad, unless both of you mutually understand that it is in good spirit. The Torah calls this “אונאת דברים.” It is forbidden to hurt another person with your words, spoken or written.

This goes the other way too. The same law also applies to those who are incensed over yesterday’s election results. Grief, anger, despair, regret, etc., is all fine. But please do not disparage other Americans who voted for the winning candidate. They do not necessarily approve of: misogyny, xenophobia, sexual assault, adultery, or anything else their candidate has been accused of. Nor do they even necessarily agree with all his stated policies.

Perhaps she voted for him because she feared the alternative more. Maybe he is a single-issue voter, like a jobless coal-miner in the rust belt, and the only thing that matters to him is his ability to put food on the table. Or maybe she fears a nuclear Iran more than anything else in the whole world, and feels that a misogynist, tax-evading buffoon is preferable to a perhaps-more refined and experienced candidate whom she fears is more likely to tolerate a nuclear Iran. Maybe for her, it’s a matter of life and death. Let’s stop judging each other and stop looking it in terms of US and THEM.

Peace to all. G-d bless America (and Israel too).

x

The Most Important Election Ever...

This is undoubtedly the most consequential vote you will ever cast.

For whom will you vote?

Your fate, the fate of your family, community, nation, and the entire world, literally hangs in the balance! The fate of Israel too, believe it or not, will be forever affected by the outcome of this crucial election.

Here are your choices:

One candidate embodies selfless virtue and sacrifice toward a greater cause. The other candidate stands for greed, self-aggrandizement and narcissism.

One candidate promotes love, truth and respect of one’s fellow, irrespective of our differences.

The opponent promotes hate and party politics, pits you against your own family members just because they’re different from you or have differing opinions.

One candidate inspires moral courage and fortitude, while the opponent is a fear-monger, trying to make you feel unsafe and vulnerable. These insidious tactics often incite reactionary aggression from among this candidate’s followers, who get easily sucked into their candidate’s angry rhetoric.

One candidate insists on honesty, integrity and accuracy, and does not tolerate any untruths. The contender’s campaign is fraught with lies and falsehoods. Every single statement uttered by this devious candidate needs to be thoroughly fact-checked. In fact, based on past performance, it’s reasonable to assume that every one of this candidate’s arguments are a thinly-veiled attempt at misleading gullible listeners and misrepresenting the facts.

In addition, this candidate likes to bring attention on the other’s flaws or shortcomings while conveniently ignoring his own. This candidate encourages others to spread malicious reports just to breed resentment and ill will.

This candidate teaches adherents to rant and rave, often shouting vulgarities or intimidating others, whereas the other candidate require that her adherents speak firmly but respectfully at all times.

This candidate believes that the entire Land of Israel belongs to Jews, and encourages every Jew to take possession of what is rightfully his/hers. The other candidate feels that Jewish homes are “unhelpful,” and that Jews ought to kowtow to world opinion and secular agendas. This candidate might claim to support Jewish causes, but only to further the sinister agenda that ultimately calls for the dismantling of everything Jewish, G-d forbid!

Needless to say, this candidate is NOT good for the Jews, but shockingly, a vast number of Jews (including Orthodox Jews) are enamored by the false assurances and empty promises that this candidate continues to offer.

One candidate exemplifies compassion and empathy, but prioritizes that compassion on victims, not the victimizers. According to the other candidate, however, victims ought to be blamed and their victimizers pardoned and enabled to continue preying on others.

One candidate bears no secrets but just says it as it is, while her opponent has secret pacts with the Dark Side, taking bribes, clandestine funding and phony donations. Suspicious individuals with ties to organized crime have been found to have numerous dealings with this candidate. That’s why the candidate’s platform promotes an agenda that ultimately will lead to violence, misogyny, misandry, lawlessness and a complete breakdown of society. And that’s the real agenda, to take away your freedom.

Indeed, that’s why this candidate has so many crooked and disreputable supporters, while there are so few people who are brave enough to speak out in favor of other far more virtuous candidate.

It is deplorable, but there is overwhelming media and celebrity bias in favor of the compromised candidate, because they are influenced by the same debased powers that be. Naturally, they also endorse this candidate’s dissolute and irreverent policies.

It’s amazing that although this candidate has such a scandalous history, people are still fooled by her self-professed innocence.

This candidate repeatedly sought to evade justice by denying past misdeeds and shady dealings, and even attempted to delete evidence after being ordered by Court to bring it forward. Of course, this is rather foolhardy, because in truth, EVERY single message, speech or deed does its damage and gets recorded forever, somewhere out there in cyberspace or elsewhere. It’s only a matter of time before it will all be public knowledge, and ultimately justice will be served. Do you wish to vote for a candidate who will be under investigation and ultimate indictment for breaking laws!? Do you wish to submit to such defective leadership?

One candidate is committed to defending your rights but also holds you to your obligations, thereby preserving your dignity and self-esteem. The opponent beguiles the electorate to become freeloaders and shirk all sense of personal responsibility. Of course, this is an attractive option to lazy people who would rather get free lunch than exert effort.

This candidate gloats over evading one's civic and communal duties, stiffs workers, and defrauds unsuspecting investors. While the opposing candidate personifies humility and responsibility, this candidate never acknowledges any guilt whatsoever.

This candidate claims to have more seniority and lots of worldly wealth, and consequently deserves to call the shots. However, it is no secret that the candidate has declared bankruptcy on more than one occasion, and is in fact morally bankrupt. The opposing candidate, however, may be younger in years and with far fewer worldly assets, but is rich in wisdom and moral values.

The older candidate claims to have lots of experience, but in fact is just maintaining status quo to keep the same corrupt villainous forces in power. However, if you vote for the younger candidate and grant her executive powers, the glass ceiling will be broken wide open and we will soar to unprecedented heights!

For whom will you cast your vote?

Don’t think that your vote doesn’t matter. It does!

In fact, your vote will literally decide who will be the next commander-in-chief! It is your vote that confers that awesome power!

So please vote. And vote wisely.

Location and time for voting is right here and right now.

No, I haven’t been discussing the Novermber 8^th US presidential elections. My apologies if you were confused.

The two candidates I’m referring to are the Yetzer Tov and the Yetzer Hara. Your G-dly soul and your animal soul. Yup, the two are vying for executive power inside of you. It is you who casts the only vote, with every decision you make. Whose voice do you heed?

Hope you elect the right candidate!

G-d forbid, if you made the wrong choice and voted for the wrong candidate, don’t worry! You can demand a recall and vote again.

It is never too late to turn back the clock and do teshuva!

And when you elect the right candidate, that will empower others around you to correctly elect their own winning candidate, and together, we break the glass ceiling of exile and usher in the glorious Redemption and the coming of Moshiach!

PS: the Animal Soul claims seniority as it was in you since the day you were born. The G-dly Soul, your higher self, isn’t completely manifest in you until you became bar or bat mitzva.

Contest of Deplorables

As mentioned in my previous homiletic, nothing about this election is too poetic.

Nonetheless, I must confess, poems help me suppress my stress.
So please bear with me as I express
my disbelief over this current mess, two candidates we ought to dispossess


She said the word right. It’s a deplorable fight. Our nation’s horrible plight.

It cannot be denied. It’s on each side of the wide divide.

Election season of deploring, abhorring and warring.

Condemn the Dem. Throw the Reps down the steps.

Silence honest debate. Replace it with hate.

Use the flag as a gag. Put your opponent in the bag.

No more stars and stripes. Only spars and gripes.

The white is out of sight. We’ve put out the light. Nothing else bright.

Now it’s just solid Red or Blue. Me versus you.

Us and Them, Rep or Dem.

Us Adorables against Them Deplorables.

Two alternate universes. No exchange of ideas, just of curses.

Yup, worlds that are parallel. Any attempt at discussion is more like a carousel.

Trash the other. Trample your brother. Civil dialogue easy to smother.

Why tout policies, when we can shout fallacies?

It’s a distortion beyond proportion!

Who cares about moral clarity or what’s good for posterity, when we can discuss vulgarity? And that helps foment polarity and further entrenches each in his own insularity.

It’s all a parody, or should I say, hilarity? Feel free to overlook your candidate’s insincerity, if that helps promote his/her popularity. Of course, because the other one’s worse! (I keep hearing that verse.)

Our choices are grim. Her or him.

The question that stirs: whose mendacious slurs the electorate prefers? His or hers?

Whose corruption do you prefer? That of him, or that of her?

And if that’s the case, and there’s one you embrace, then the other you feel the need to debase?

Of course, the opponent must be deplored, while your candidate’s faults surely must be ignored.

Her husband is a whore, his wife is a whore. My ears have grown sore.

Is he a predator? Depends who’s the editor. And that depends on who’s the creditor.

He stiffed his contractors! She murdered her detractors!

She blamed her husband’s victims! (Never mind his locker room dictums).

The women he’s mistreated! He lied and he cheated! (Just overlook all the classified emails she illegally deleted)

Special govt treatment for her corporate investors. He rejected a judge because of Mexican ancestors. She’s a protestor against a sexual molester? (Hmm… she lives with one… something must have possessed her.)

He annoys sensitive females. She destroys sensitive emails.

Dispose of the evidence. Just rely on your eminence.

Media runs wild. Both candidates historically reviled.

He mocked the disabled! All the womanizing she enabled!

His fictitious facts. Her secret pacts. His unpaid tax.

Returns undisclosed! Wall Street speeches undisclosed! 

Conspiracy theories proposed. Secret nuclear deals unopposed. Incriminating evidence conveniently disposed. DNC fraud exposed.

He’s a buffoon and a glutton, can’t be trusted with the button. She can’t be trusted with the delete button.

Entered dressing room without permission! Defended husband’s exploits without attrition!

Business failures. Foreign policy failures. Political favors of unsavory flavors.

Illicit relations and vulgar conversations. Shady donations, phony foundations, rogue corporations, failed nations.

He’s Kremlin-backed. She’s Saudi-backed. His dearth of tact. Her emails hacked. Benghazi attacked. Cataclysmic nuclear pact.

Presidential endorsements. In Benghazi no reinforcements.

Crony capitalism. Patterns of fascism. Dangerous pacifism. Creeping socialism. Huge social schism.

Widespread discontent. Both candidates from the top one percent.

He’s up in Trump Tower. She’s in her Ivory Tower.

He’s the financial elite from Easy Street. She’s the political elite in cahoots with Wall Street.

Her lucrative speeches and security breaches. His fancy hotels on sandy beaches.

She's the political establishment, no stranger to scandal and corruption. He's the cynical anti-establishment...but can we handle his next eruption?

She’s a typical dishonest politician. He’s an inimical tycoon with no inhibition.

She shatters glass ceilings, but raises debt ceilings. Her shady dealings. He hurts people's feelings.

A nation in debt, spending trillions more than we net.

Millions on the dole. Trillions deep in the whole.

He may have experience in business, but these staggering numbers are causing me dizziness.

Some of his enterprises have gone bankrupt. She ran a government that’s practically bankrupt. They're both morally bankrupt.

She’s Whitewater and Kenneth Starr. He's reality TV star with hair that’s bizarre.

His grandiose promises. A huge fabulous wall. Her failing health, her 9/11 fall.

She’s for open borders. He’s for laws and orders. He insults reporters. They both have repugnant supporters.

She takes in migrants and “donations” from tyrants. His election defiance and Putin alliance?

Quite a feminist dame, adopted her husband’s surname. Built her career on her First Lady fame.

Do we wish to inspire that type of feminine ambition? Stay married to a liar, so you’ll get a great position?

Indeed quite an accomplishment, staying married to Bill. But not sure if that means she has presidential skill.

At least she stayed committed. (Although of course, she benefitted). Her opponent, on the other hand, has never submitted.

The billionaire’s affairs. Like stock options and shares. Then find someone else with better wares, once you grow tired of theirs.

He’s like royalty, but has no loyalty. Like King Henry the Eighth, lacking marital faith.

Their personal lives, maybe not so germane. It’s more about the economy, Syria, Iran and Ukraine.

But should we give the presidential nod to one whose character is so flawed?

No matter who’s your choice, it’s no reason to rejoice.

This election is not about diversity. It’s about adversity and perversity. Not to mention a phony university.

He defrauded his pupils without any scruples. She defrauded the nation, and is under FBI investigation.

No self-respect, the peculiar elite sect. Whom shall we elect? To vote for neither surely isn’t correct.

Hopelessly shameless, both claim to be blameless.

She’s a hawk. He’s all talk, strutting around like a barnyard cock. Voters gawk and balk.

His rhetoric incites disunity. She breaks laws with impunity.

To evade justice is a cinch. Bill’s chat with Loretta Lynch. 

Does that make you flinch? Can someone give me a pinch?

Media bias. Language impious.

Celebrities adore her. Patriots abhor her.

She’s adored by every celebrity. He IS a celebrity. Both sorely lack integrity.

Islamic terrorism, she can’t acknowledge. He alleges rigging in the electoral college.

Her ties to Muslim Brotherhood. She vies for terminating motherhood. Supports late-term abortions. His odd facial contortions.

His plans mass deportation receives broad condemnation. But what about the widespread public frustration with relentless illegal immigration?

He plagiarized! She’s compromised! We’ve all grown desensitized.

You’re with her? Not so sure I’m ready to concur.

Can we afford four years of more of the same? A foreign policy that’s set the Middle East aflame?

And a domestic policy that’s messed up our nest. Unprecedented racial unrest. The oppressed and repressed always under arrest, and likewise those who have so professed. Everyone’s distressed. Opinions suppressed. Have we progressed? For every police a bullet proof vest.

Can’t we do better? Don’t mean to upset her. Just worried we may come to really regret her.

But what’s the alternative? A renegade conservative, whose exaggerated self-view is so ultra-superlative?

So go root for your team, while the rest of us squeam.

But please focus your aim. Don’t blame and shame. It’s a lame game.

Color War, either or. You think the polls really keep score?

Red or blue. The joke’s on you. Don’t you have anything better to do?


Click here for my next post, more serious thoughts about election: "Most Important Election Ever."

2016 Election Poems

This election season has been so pathetic, with voices from both sides sounding frenetic. Nothing about it has been so poetic.

Two candidates otherwise unelectable in a campaign battle that’s truly un-delectable.

Voting is non-elective, even if the choices are rather defective.

But getting all worked up over it is in fact elective, and for the most part, rather ineffective. And all this invective is totally irrespective. Everyone’s thinking has become so subjective, they hear what they want, with listening that’s selective. Sadly, we’ve lost sight of our collective objective.

Time for us all to be more reflective, and open-minded and introspective.

Voting is indeed our obligation, even if both candidates are under investigation. Just stop all the denigration, condemnation and agitation.

So go out and vote. But quit screaming… you’ll get a sore throat.

And just remember that in the end, it’s more important to have a friend, so don’t offend or condescend, even if that’s the appalling trend.

If the winner is Trump, don’t be a grump or kick anyone in the rump, or head over to a bridge to jump!

And if it’s Hillary, don’t get out your artillery, or drag anyone off to the pillory, or go drown in your sorrows at the local distillery.

Sheesh. It’s only a vote, not a sinking boat.

So what if our next president is an illegal resident?

G-d above is our protector, no need to jump ship and become a defector.

Despite Pharaohs and Hamans we always endured. So too G-d will save us from Hillary or Donald, rest assured.

We will survive. Moshiach will arrive. Am Yisrael is alive!


Click here for next election poem: "Contest of Deplorables"